Ingredients for a Great Marriage: Building a Covenant that Stays Connected, Passionate, and Thriving

Marriage, according to Scripture, is not merely a contract but a solemn covenant. Biblically, a covenant is an agreement sealed with sacrifice. It is sacred, intentional, and enduring—and it will cost you something. When we understand marriage through this lens, it changes how we show up for one another. It doesn’t only take showing up when things are easy and good between you and your spouse, but when things are difficult. It is in these times that the true value and weight of our relationship is tested. 

A thriving marriage doesn’t happen by accident. It is built daily through love, honor, humility, and intentional care. Below are biblical “ingredients” that help keep a marriage connected, passionate, and strong.

Six Ingredients for Husbands that a Wife Respects and Honors

1 Peter 3:7 NLT

7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

1. He Responds With Understanding and Tenderness

A godly husband is a good listener. He understands that his wife doesn’t always need solutions. Sometimes, she needs to be heard. When a husband listens without rushing to fix, it creates emotional safety and trust.

2. He Leads Her in Prayer

Spiritual leadership begins at home. A husband who prays with and for his wife covers her heart and invites God into their marriage. Leadership isn’t dominance. It’s devotion. To have a godly marriage, a husband’s devotion must first be to Jesus and then, out of the overflow of the love he receives from God, to his wife.

3. He Knows How to Ask for Directions

Humility is powerful. A husband who is willing to learn, ask questions, and grow shows strength, not weakness. Consider this: How would you feel if your wife asked how she could be a better wife? If you’d appreciate that, be the first to model it.

4. He Forgives Fully

A simple, sincere “I’m sorry” can heal more than we realize. This isn’t just a "I'm sorry I got caught,” or a “I’m sorry you’re frustrated.” Genuine humility and apology is what is needed. A husband who forgives freely and asks for forgiveness when he is in the wrong reflects Christ’s grace and creates room for restoration.

5. He Praises Her Publicly

Words matter. We’re often quick with sarcasm or criticism, but when was the last time you genuinely complimented your wife, especially in front of others? A husband should never berate or criticize his wife publicly, but honor her openly. 

6. He Always Makes Her His Priority

A wife should know she is her husband’s number one. When a husband leads spiritually and sets the example for his family, their heritage and legacy is changed for the better! This choice not only affects him and his spouse, but their children and family line for generations to come. His leadership creates a ripple effect that blesses the entire household.

Five Ingredients of a Wife a Man Will Honor and Respect

1 Peter 3:1-6 NLT

1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.

3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.

1. She Keeps Her Husband Number One

“Wives, if all he ever gets is your leftovers, leftovers is what you will become.”
— Pastor Jim

Biblically, marriage comes before everything else—even children. Loving your husband first doesn’t diminish your love for others. It strengthens the foundation of your family. Prioritize time with him and find small, meaningful ways to honor him daily.

2. She Watches Her Motives

Ephesians 5:22-24

“Wives, submit to your own husbands…”

Submission is not a bad word. Submission is an act of trust and obedience to God. A wife who checks her heart posture invites peace rather than power struggles, especially as her husband steps into spiritual leadership of the home. 

3. She Guards Against Vanity

Adornment is not the issue, vanity is. The verse above is not a prohibition against wearing make-up or dressing up to look nice. It is putting the outward adornment into the correct order. A godly wife understands that true beauty flows from a gentle and quiet spirit rooted in Christ. Outward beauty will fade, but a heart built on the character and love of Jesus will only grow more beautiful as she ages. 

4. She Shows Honor and Reverence

Scripture notes that Sarah called Abraham “lord,” reflecting deep respect and reverence. Honor given to a husband is ultimately offered as unto the Lord, not based on perfection but on covenant faithfulness.

5. She Praises Him Publicly

Men need encouragement just as much as women do. Public affirmation strengthens a husband’s confidence and reminds him that his efforts are seen and valued.

A Marriage Built on Covenant

When both husband and wife commit to these principles, not perfectly, but faithfully, marriage becomes a living testimony of God’s design. A covenant-centered marriage reflects Christ’s love: sacrificial, honoring, and enduring.

Strong marriages don’t just happen. They are built one prayer, one choice, and one act of honor at a time.